When I was 20 years old I met a guy on the beach.
He seemed like he was a guy with a good heart. I felt that instant attraction
towards him but at the same time that feeling of "not sure if I should
give it a go", in the end I ignored that feeling, that so called Gut
feeling (internal voice or whatever you want to call it). Time passed and
during 1 and half years I realized that this guy loved me a lot but at the same
time he was drawing me down with him. I lost 25 kg and after being a family
girl I left my family and home to live with him, until one day we were partying
with friends in our apartment when I went to the bathroom and I looked at
myself in the mirror and said "what have you been doing all this time
Ibari? Do u really want to live in this way?" The party ended and on the
followed days I started to feel uncomfortable. Other times I used to have
nightmares and I could not sleep properly for months. The last 5 months of
being with him I realized that my gut feeling was giving me all sort of signals
but I ignored them because I was young. I knew he would not be with me forever
but who cared, I was having fun. After 1 year and a half I decided to
leave him. When he left the house, my body started to feel lighter, it
was like if I was carrying someone on my back for long time, like when you want
to run but you can’t because you are carrying all that weight of someone who
doesn't belong to you, someone who is stopping you from continuing with your
journey.
In the following months I was feeling so happy and
again living with my parents. I knew I had done the correct thing letting
Manuel go from my life. Nine months passed when I met Alex. I liked him from
the moment I saw him, we started to date and after 2 years he gave me a ring. I
was happy with him until he lost his job and he became lazy. The type of guy
who used to wake up at 2pm and say he was looking for a job when in reality he
was just chilling at home. Again my gut feeling gave me a signal but I ignored
it. I did not want to be with Alex anymore. I knew it was time for the next
chapter so we split up and I moved to Australia. I was very much in love
with Alex but I just could not see a future with him.
I arrived to Australia and soon after I met
Peter, a man who was extremely educated. We started to date and from the moment
I met him my gut feeling told me he wasn't for me but who cared I was
young. I was in Australia and I didn't know many people and few
Australians. I used to go out with foreigners students like me. Peter started
to invite me out, send me flowers, chocolates etc. He conquested me and I fell
in love with him. After 1 year of dating he asked me to marry him. So, I
married him even knowing my gut feeling was telling me to wait but you
know, sometimes people are like that they already know that it wouldn't
work but we never listen to our Gut feeling. Maybe because we always hope
things will get better. After 3 years I was still with Peter and I had
nightmares, I was paranoid. I even had a couple of panic attacks without a
reason. It was more than clear than my gut feeling was still telling me that he
wasn't for me. After 3 years and 8 months, we separated.
The years passed and over those years I met all
sort of people. I wanted to be in a relationship realizing that I was emotional
dependent from others so I wanted to have a boyfriend to be happy. It took me
years to get where I am now. Now I enjoy my loneliness as much as when I am in
the company of other people and I am more emotionally stable.
Now I'm writing and thinking how come I never listened
to my gut feeling? If I had listened to my gut feeling I would have avoided so
many bad moments and maybe I would be with the right person now.
Three months ago I met a guy and everything felt
so good. I thought I just found the love of my life. After some time of being
together he was amazing towards me but again that gut feeling came and
told me he wasn't for me. At first, I did not ignore that gut feeling but I
just put it by my side for some weeks just to see why I was getting such a
strong feeling about this guy. In the end, I decided to end this relationship
and I could not believe that for the first time in years I decided to follow my
gut feeling. Now, I am 100% sure that very good things will happen in my life
in the coming months. u know why? because now I do whatever my gut feeling
tells me.
To conclude with this.. Follow your gut feeling.
it doesn't matter how strong or small it is.. Going for a second choice is
overthinking, go with the first feeling.
We can avoid so many bad moments if we just
pay attention to our gut feeling. We would not be spending our time with the
wrong people. This is applied not just to relationships but for everything in
our life. A job, a friendship.. Even when you can't find a car park.. Have you
thought that maybe you can’t find a car park because you aren't mean to be at
that place at that time.. and how come sometimes we find a car park so easy and
quick, well that is because we are meant to be in that place.
Listen to your gut feeling and listen to any
random person you meet on the street because the universe sends us messengers
all the time but we never pay attention.
Ibari
